I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
