Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
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Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
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the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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