There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
