i would punch a child for taco bell
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
