With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
