My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
