ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Houston, we have a blender
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
