Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
