I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize