Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
