your parents love me but you hate me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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