So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
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I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
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Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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