Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
