ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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