Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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