So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
