Whod you bang
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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