why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
