I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
