She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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