I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
