i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she pinky promised me she was 18
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
