I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
