Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
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Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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