Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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