Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
