who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize