I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
