I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
