Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
