You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
