I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
