Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
