Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
