i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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