Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
