If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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