winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
