Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
