Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
