Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm at about main and main street
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
