If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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