Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.