they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it