It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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