The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
