The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
