We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
