so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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