im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize