I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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