Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
