Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
