Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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