found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
