Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
