His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
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