Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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