I CAN MOONWALK!
It's Friday. Sex?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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