So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
