Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
