i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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