Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
