He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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