the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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