how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
