There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
