did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize