Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize