strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
bring money and cleavage
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
